Finding memories in the songs we hear is pretty powerful. I'm sitting here listening to an eighties rock album "Adrenalize" and it reminds me of high school. Then it leads me to the road I've traveled since then.
I know what you're thinking; "Oh no, another memory lane flashback", but it's not. It's just in that music from the past inspired me today. Well, it's not completely the music. I'm now working out with a bicycle to lose weight and get back into shape. I want to live longer and this is what I have to do. The memories brought on by music and that old road of life, inspire me.
Def Leppard is road trip music and I was just on the road today to find a cycling route for my workout. I used to run to get into shape, but I have too many doctors, orthopedic surgeons, podiatrists, and such telling me to never run or even walk again to burn calories. I'm not exaggerating, my podiatrist even went so far as to say he wishes he could tell everyone that running and jogging is the worst thing you can do for your feet, knees and back.
On the road this morning, it felt good. I have a long journey ahead of me, but it feels good. It gets me thinking about where I want to go and that destination is, of course, my goal. When I listen to music that takes me back to the eighties, I ask myself if where I am currently was my goal back then. I have answer that question with"No".
That's the thing about our lives. We love music, we set goals, we live, but we never really know where we'll end up. I'm happy where I've ended up even though it's been one rough road. I think we hit an age where we eventually see the road smooth out, but that rough old road is always there and we just need to be reminded of that road.
My goal won't fulfill itself identically as I have envisioned, but I will achieve results that will make me happy. When I was in basic training for the Navy, our company commander had a great philosophy about goals. I'll be paraphrasing, but he said that goals don't mean anything, they are just plans and aren't real so make them unrealistic. Set your goals outrageously high. Set them so high that no one can even think they are achievable. That way, as you go down the road towards your goal, where ever your stopping point may be, it will be great.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Monday, July 16, 2018
Life Change
So, fuck cancer. That's the creed muttered by cancer patients worldwide. We go on social media and spell it out in one word led with a hashtag. We wear t-shirts with the words emblazoned on the front and back. "Fuck Cancer" is our mantra.
When adenocarcinoma struck me, I was in the middle of accelerating my life; a wife, new job and moving up in the world. The call came while I was at my step-son's home, loading a moving van with the last of our stuff to move to Missoula Montana. The call that changed my life.
The summer of 2015 was a great summer. I took my, then girlfriend, to Conner Montana for her birthday. The East Fork of the Bitterroot river is a spectacular area and it just so happens a good friend of mine has a place up there and we stayed there for my, now, wife's birthday. I woke up the next morning with a hacking cough.
A month later, Memorial Day, I was engaged to the love of my life. July 24th, 2015 I married that wonderful gal. The cough persisted.
Life changes led to jobs and a new home in Missoula Montana. It was March 2016 and we were in Helena picking up the last of our stuff to take to Missoula. I had just undergone numerous tests with the VA for the cough. I remember I was struggling with some heavy boxes when my phone rang. It was a doctor. The images of my lungs, showed a mass. My mind raced and I don't remember much as my whole world changed. Within a week I was undergoing surgery and setting up appointments for chemotherapy and radiation treatments.
Now, those changes just prior to being diagnosed with cancer were an important chapter in my life and not just on the surface; new job, new home, new wife, but these were important building blocks to be in place for the 6 months of my treatments. The cancer center that saved my life was literally down the street from our new home. My wife is so amazingly strong and cared for me through the entire process. It all happened for a reason and that reason was for me to survive cancer.
I can say "Fuck Cancer" because I had a network of people who made me a survivor. The changes, however, didn't stop after treatment.
I was determined to make the summer of 2017 the best ever as a way to make up for the summer of 2016. That didn't work, because just as the activities began, wildfires broke out around the state. My lungs went through a lot during treatment and the smoke from wildfires was just intolerable.
With the summer of 2017, the first year of recovery, a bust my wife and I spent Thanksgiving in Southern Utah. It was this journey that I asked my wife what she thought about moving to Utah. It was a surprisingly quick answer of "sure". I feel it was easy to make the decision because there were negative issues piling up in Montana. For me, the biggest factor was the weather and I just have to have warm, hot, weather.
The residual effects of surviving cancer manifest themselves in other health issues. I mean, after all, they poisoned me for six months, killing all of my cells in hopes that only the good cells would grow back. I do have kidney issues and breathing issues. One would think that my health would get a huge boost from all the water I drink now instead of pop, but one would be wrong. Yes, it is healthier, but my metabolism is so slow now. During chemo I had a huge craving for carbs that just hasn't gone away. With the kidney issues, I also have to watch my protein intake and this screws with my weight too.
This blog sounds like a journal entry, and it really is an entry onto a blog directly from my thoughts. I've had a lot of changes in the last six years since I used Blogger and the last three are head spinning changes. I'm a married home owning cancer survivor in a completely new environment. It was a huge risk to pick up and leave Montana, but it has worked out and I'm finding that life changes, no matter how radical, have just as good a chance as being bad or good. Quite frankly, life changes are both good and bad, it just depends on which you dwell upon.
I'm happy, my wife is happy and life is adjusting just fine to the change. The next step will be taking back control of my overall health. I'm starting a diet and workout regimen that should have me back to a healthy weight by the end of the year. As I stated above, the wildfires of 2017 affected my recovery and that means recovery now begins in this new home. I'm glad I took the risk of change, in every action I've made. It has saved my life and I feel it will continue to serve me well. Embrace change.
When adenocarcinoma struck me, I was in the middle of accelerating my life; a wife, new job and moving up in the world. The call came while I was at my step-son's home, loading a moving van with the last of our stuff to move to Missoula Montana. The call that changed my life.
The summer of 2015 was a great summer. I took my, then girlfriend, to Conner Montana for her birthday. The East Fork of the Bitterroot river is a spectacular area and it just so happens a good friend of mine has a place up there and we stayed there for my, now, wife's birthday. I woke up the next morning with a hacking cough.
A month later, Memorial Day, I was engaged to the love of my life. July 24th, 2015 I married that wonderful gal. The cough persisted.
Life changes led to jobs and a new home in Missoula Montana. It was March 2016 and we were in Helena picking up the last of our stuff to take to Missoula. I had just undergone numerous tests with the VA for the cough. I remember I was struggling with some heavy boxes when my phone rang. It was a doctor. The images of my lungs, showed a mass. My mind raced and I don't remember much as my whole world changed. Within a week I was undergoing surgery and setting up appointments for chemotherapy and radiation treatments.
Now, those changes just prior to being diagnosed with cancer were an important chapter in my life and not just on the surface; new job, new home, new wife, but these were important building blocks to be in place for the 6 months of my treatments. The cancer center that saved my life was literally down the street from our new home. My wife is so amazingly strong and cared for me through the entire process. It all happened for a reason and that reason was for me to survive cancer.
I can say "Fuck Cancer" because I had a network of people who made me a survivor. The changes, however, didn't stop after treatment.
I was determined to make the summer of 2017 the best ever as a way to make up for the summer of 2016. That didn't work, because just as the activities began, wildfires broke out around the state. My lungs went through a lot during treatment and the smoke from wildfires was just intolerable.
With the summer of 2017, the first year of recovery, a bust my wife and I spent Thanksgiving in Southern Utah. It was this journey that I asked my wife what she thought about moving to Utah. It was a surprisingly quick answer of "sure". I feel it was easy to make the decision because there were negative issues piling up in Montana. For me, the biggest factor was the weather and I just have to have warm, hot, weather.
The residual effects of surviving cancer manifest themselves in other health issues. I mean, after all, they poisoned me for six months, killing all of my cells in hopes that only the good cells would grow back. I do have kidney issues and breathing issues. One would think that my health would get a huge boost from all the water I drink now instead of pop, but one would be wrong. Yes, it is healthier, but my metabolism is so slow now. During chemo I had a huge craving for carbs that just hasn't gone away. With the kidney issues, I also have to watch my protein intake and this screws with my weight too.
This blog sounds like a journal entry, and it really is an entry onto a blog directly from my thoughts. I've had a lot of changes in the last six years since I used Blogger and the last three are head spinning changes. I'm a married home owning cancer survivor in a completely new environment. It was a huge risk to pick up and leave Montana, but it has worked out and I'm finding that life changes, no matter how radical, have just as good a chance as being bad or good. Quite frankly, life changes are both good and bad, it just depends on which you dwell upon.
I'm happy, my wife is happy and life is adjusting just fine to the change. The next step will be taking back control of my overall health. I'm starting a diet and workout regimen that should have me back to a healthy weight by the end of the year. As I stated above, the wildfires of 2017 affected my recovery and that means recovery now begins in this new home. I'm glad I took the risk of change, in every action I've made. It has saved my life and I feel it will continue to serve me well. Embrace change.
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Six Years.
The indefinite continued progress of existence and events. But six years? Isn't that a definite bloc of time?
My last blog was six years ago and it is defined by the time in which it was written, the Germans have a word for it; "zeitgeist". Time Spirit or the spirit of the time. It is fascinating how this continued march of existence is indefinite, yet certain blocks of it can be defined by the events and through those who existed in that time.
Six years ago I was just a college graduate with my sights set on going big in the world. The leadership in the country was still shaky after terrible attacks a decade earlier. I didn't necessarily make it big, but I did make a series of good choices. The old adage "Only time will tell" is true in this progressive line of events. Many of my choices seemed to be guided by divinity, I'm not saying I'm divine, but some of the choices were made and the results were surprising. My choice to put myself on the dating website led me to meeting my wife. My choice to move to a city just to effect change in my life, put me within walking distance of the cancer center that would, in time, save my life. Even my choice of schooling led me to meeting, working for and be helped by my veteran's representative and she is the one who helped my with my disabilities.
The choices I made were guided by the zeitgeist, spirit of the time. My mother died and I went to college. I found the most awesome veteran's representative while attending college. My degree led me to a job in the city where I met my wife. I wanted a better city for my wife, so we moved to the city where I eventually needed to go anyway after the diagnosis of cancer.
Six years of events that have now defined a major period, or era, of my story. Six years that have led me to where I am today, far from where I was a mere, well, six years ago.
With this new era comes all of the good that happened in the last six years. To move forward I left all the bad in the last era. That's right, I left all the bad stuffed into the past and brought with me all the good things to continue this indefinite continued progress of events. Some of the things that I had to leave behind actually surprised me and, yet, they will stay in the past. Some of the things that I am bringing with me into the new era are simply amazing; my wife, our new house, my second year of remission.
Some will tell you that you should repair the bad things in your past before moving on. To this I say, rubbish, literally, trash it. and leave it behind. There's no point in holding on to broken things from your past in hopes of fixing them one day. Remember, this is a continuous progression, defined by the things you do in those moments. Don't define your past with failed repairs. Accept the bad and move on, carrying the good with you.
I'm back on Blogger.com
My last blog was six years ago and it is defined by the time in which it was written, the Germans have a word for it; "zeitgeist". Time Spirit or the spirit of the time. It is fascinating how this continued march of existence is indefinite, yet certain blocks of it can be defined by the events and through those who existed in that time.
Six years ago I was just a college graduate with my sights set on going big in the world. The leadership in the country was still shaky after terrible attacks a decade earlier. I didn't necessarily make it big, but I did make a series of good choices. The old adage "Only time will tell" is true in this progressive line of events. Many of my choices seemed to be guided by divinity, I'm not saying I'm divine, but some of the choices were made and the results were surprising. My choice to put myself on the dating website led me to meeting my wife. My choice to move to a city just to effect change in my life, put me within walking distance of the cancer center that would, in time, save my life. Even my choice of schooling led me to meeting, working for and be helped by my veteran's representative and she is the one who helped my with my disabilities.
The choices I made were guided by the zeitgeist, spirit of the time. My mother died and I went to college. I found the most awesome veteran's representative while attending college. My degree led me to a job in the city where I met my wife. I wanted a better city for my wife, so we moved to the city where I eventually needed to go anyway after the diagnosis of cancer.
Six years of events that have now defined a major period, or era, of my story. Six years that have led me to where I am today, far from where I was a mere, well, six years ago.
With this new era comes all of the good that happened in the last six years. To move forward I left all the bad in the last era. That's right, I left all the bad stuffed into the past and brought with me all the good things to continue this indefinite continued progress of events. Some of the things that I had to leave behind actually surprised me and, yet, they will stay in the past. Some of the things that I am bringing with me into the new era are simply amazing; my wife, our new house, my second year of remission.
Some will tell you that you should repair the bad things in your past before moving on. To this I say, rubbish, literally, trash it. and leave it behind. There's no point in holding on to broken things from your past in hopes of fixing them one day. Remember, this is a continuous progression, defined by the things you do in those moments. Don't define your past with failed repairs. Accept the bad and move on, carrying the good with you.
I'm back on Blogger.com
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